It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
