when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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