I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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