Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
