he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
