Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
