1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize