Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
