It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
