Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
