So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
