The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
