i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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