I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
