can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
