Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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