She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
