My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
