I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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