he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
