home. puking in laundry basket.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
