I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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