i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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