I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize