Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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