I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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