I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
