we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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