She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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