That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
