Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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