Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
