But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
