we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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