Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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