Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize