I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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