he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
