he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
