I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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