Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
