you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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