I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Couch. On fire.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
