Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
