i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
