First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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