Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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