I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
