rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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