I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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