I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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