Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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