I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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