lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
