And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
